Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize