I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Boobs are out for the taking
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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