you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
