$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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