Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize