I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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