NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
