oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
