the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
