Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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