I heard we made out
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
