dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
