First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hippo gnu deer
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I party with great urgency now.
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