marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
