Dual....:-)
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
