I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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