My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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