My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
tell me about the eggs
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