How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
