The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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