Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.