Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'

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  (253): Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin' http://tfl.nu/fw6c
  Replies (37) Good night (6375) Bad night (882)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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  (610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx
  Replies (27) Good night (1220) Bad night (11357)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

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  (404): It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning. http://tfl.nu/70c1
  Replies (14) Good night (5235) Bad night (1402)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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  (313): Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice http://tfl.nu/wuko
  Replies (11) Good night (3348) Bad night (1049)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.

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  (+82): Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too. http://tfl.nu/v8p8
  Replies (6) Good night (2434) Bad night (1187)
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  (619): View more from California

  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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  (619): Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell. http://tfl.nu/xu8z
  Replies (10) Good night (5703) Bad night (938)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward

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  (410): I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward http://tfl.nu/w0c9
  Replies (10) Good night (3337) Bad night (860)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.

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  (239): I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore. http://tfl.nu/vgm4
  Replies (7) Good night (1808) Bad night (792)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1824) Bad night (629)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..

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  (305): What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on.. http://tfl.nu/a0r6
  Replies (6) Good night (1510) Bad night (776)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.

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  (631): He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment. http://tfl.nu/k4e4
  Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (821)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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  (303): So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode" http://tfl.nu/uekw
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (462)
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  (562): View more from California

  I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.

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  (562): I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help. http://tfl.nu/iwuh
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (347)
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  (+07): View more from

  I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx

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  (+07): I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx http://tfl.nu/i2go
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (260)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I get a little bitchy. We all know that

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  (217): I get a little bitchy. We all know that http://tfl.nu/1b6a
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (167)

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