You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
