dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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