Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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