her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize