is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
