i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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