would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
