Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
