Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
