I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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