this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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