That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
