Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
