we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
