Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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