I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
