i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
