She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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