Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
