Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
