And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
