The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
