I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
