I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
