Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
