He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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