i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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