Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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