I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize