How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
