Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Randomize
