yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
