whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
