alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
