Just cropdusted the office
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
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