Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
