nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize