Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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