Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
