Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
