also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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