70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
